November 3rd, 2010 Jamie
When it comes to free time, the genders obviously have different ideas about how it should be spent. The ladies want to shop, have deep conversations, and watch the Project Runway marathon on Lifetime (was anyone else shocked by the winner, btw??). The gentlemen: eating, sports, and a 24-hour game of Halo: Reach on xBox Live.
Tired of waiting around for your girl to finish her DVR’d SYTYCD or your guy to turn off the game console? May I suggest a tact the hubs and I have come up with?
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
Give it a Shot
Okay, here’s the deal. No matter how stupid our significant others’ favorite pastimes may seem to us, for some reason they really dig them. And there is no better way to score points with your honey than to show some interest in what they love. (If you want to try it the other way around, ask your sweetie to join you doing something you really like, and see how it goes!)
So, I’m just going to throw out my own example. I’m no pro, but I did play a decent amount of Halo this summer (and even more since Reach came out because that’s how I get extra facetime with my man–you hear me, ladies?). My sweetie asked me to play with him one evening, and he was so excited that I gave in. It actually turned out to be pretty fun (full disclosure: I am no longer an embarrassment, but I still have trouble keeping aim when I’m in a firefight), and we’ve played a couple times a week since then. He still gets really excited any time I offer to play.
Make it Accessible
If you want to get your honey involved in your hobbies, take the pressure off. He’s never brought it up, but I know playing video games with me is a way different experience for the hubs than when he plays them with the guys–he turns down the gore (because I’m a girl, and gore is gross), leaves the game setting on normal (I would be pretty lame on a difficult setting, and I know it), and makes a point of giving me props when I do something well (even if its an accident).
Basically, he makes it less intimidating, and preserves my shy little newbie gamer ego.
It works the same way when you’re translating girl stuff for guys. Example? If you want your man to watch a Twilight movie with you, tell him you’ll throw together some killer movie snacks and make fun of the cheesy parts together. Make it low-key and not embarrassing, and be willing to see it from the other perspective.
Celebrate Success, Accept Failure
Not every hobby you share is going to translate to a new couples activity. If you find out you and your sweetie have something new in common, great. Add it to your list of date night activities. If sharing one more second of Monday Night Football together sounds worse than a 6am bio midterm, skip it–its no big deal.
Most relationships thrive on a combination of comfortable similarities and interesting differences, the point here is simply to take an interest and try something new.