Posts filed under 'dating'
A blanket of snow isn’t a sentence to stay indoors! Get some warm (and water proof!) clothes on, and venture out for a snow-date with your honey (and then warm each other up afterward!). Let it snow!
1. Eskimo Kisses. Whether you have fond childhood memories of snow-fort building or you’re a complete newbie to the winter wonderland gig (like me!), I definitely recommend you get out there and build an igloo out of snow! (For faster work, make it a group-date, or just enjoy the time alone with your crush.) Be sure you pack your snow tightly before you hollow out a little room, and keep some structural “columns” inside to help hold it up. It will look magical lit up inside at night!
2. Snow Painting. Need another reason to get out and play in the snow? This is the only time yellow snow isn’t dangerous! 
Fill some spray bottles with water tinted with a few drops of food coloring. Write love notes. Paint each other’s portraits. Be ridiculous.
3. Sculptorades. Want to make a masterpiece like the one above (but maybe just a little bit smaller)? All you need is some time, a ton of snow, and a cardboard box. Use tools you have on hand, like a spatula, beach shovel, and tablespoon, to carve out your snow masterpiece. For more directions and tips, check out this article about snow sculpting. (Search Harbin Ice Festival for more inspiration!)
4. Icy Icee. Not into the whole freezing-to-the-bone bit, even for a date? Pick up some flavoring syrups at the grocery store (they work for Italian sodas, too–yum) and whip up your own custom snow cones (or cups, use whatever you’ve got.) Just make sure the snow is fresh so you don’t get any surprises.
5. Candlelight. Take the traditional candlelit dinner to the next level–make clusters of glittering ice-candles and light up an outdoor mini-picnic. Start the day before and have everything ready when your crush arrives. I suggest warm-weather clothes and mittens, some quilts and something dry and waterproof (a simple tarp would be fine) to sit on. Skip the full-on dinner and do dessert instead (you can only brave the cold for so long). Gingerbread cookies and cocoa are a great start.
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January 29th, 2010
The weather may be getting chilly, but that’s no reason you can’t heat up your love life as autumn turns into winter. Here are 10 cheap-or-free ideas to spice up your dating life. 
- The Great Pumpkin. Hit a pumpkin patch (it’s getting late in the season, so better go soon!) and find your pumpkin-soul-mate. Carve it up (it’s never too late to do some pumpkin art) or try your hand at some pumpkin recipes.
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- Warm Up. Grab some coffee or cider at a cafe and work through some questions in the IF… book. Or do it for free by perusing it at a bookstore coffee shop.
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- Cool Down. Ready to get into the winter spirit already? Brave the cold and go ice skating (or find an ice rink in your area if its not cold where you live, you lucky duck). Sure, your butt may meet the ice a few times, but if you can’t laugh about it at least you have an excuse to cling to your sweetie.
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- Toss Around the Pigskin. Football season is upon us, so whether you love it or hate it, why not embrace it? Play some tackle football in the park or get some yummy, unhealthy snacks and root like crazy for your team (whether you know what’s going on or not).
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- Down, Set, Hike. The weather’s getting colder, so head out for a walk in the woods before it gets too cold. You still have time to catch some fall color! Up the ante by bringing a picnic.
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- Lookie-Loo. If you’re in (or near) a big city, go to a weekend art gallery opening. They’re usually free, offer a great chance to take in and discuss some culture (how mature!), and often offer munchies, too.
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- Starlight, Star Bright. The crisp, cold air of autumn makes it a great time to take in the starts. The Leonid meteor shower was this past week, and you can check here for more meteor shower dates & times. Bring a blanket and something warm to eat, and be prepared to huddle together for warmth.
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- Lots of Drive. I’m a sucker for the vintage charm of a drive-in movie–they’re cheesy and fun, and you can bring blankets and food so you’re perfectly comfy. Plus it won’t bother the people behind you if you crack jokes or peel off a candy wrapper. Pick up some food at a drive through and then drive-in for your main feature. (Find nearby drive-ins at driveinmovie.com.)
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- Do Good. It’s the season of giving thanks for what we have, so why not pay it forward? Spend a Saturday morning helping out at a soup kitchen, or pitch in at a local or national food bank like Feeding America.
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- Swedish Dinner and a Movie. Ready to release your inner film student? For a ridiculous group date (and some great blackmail material) head over to Ikea with your crush and some other pals. Dine on some Swedish meatballs and then use the sample rooms as your own personal film stage, like this group of improvers did. Just be prepared for some funny looks from your fellow shoppers.
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November 20th, 2009
Like it or not, Valentine’s Day always seems to force us to contemplate our relationship status: being single, hooked up, serious, or otherwise. Having spent a good couple years of college being single (sometimes loving it, other times hating it) I thought this week was the perfect time to share a few reasons why being single is awesomely good.
- You Can Learn What You Love. When you’re on your own, you’re completely free to explore your life passions. You have time to indulge in a three hour novella-writing spree at 2 a.m. or take a road trip with your buddies to see the most incredible car museum this side of the Mississippi. And you’ll want to know that so you will make time for that passion when you do get into a relationship.
- You Can Learn How Strong You Are. When my dad was first diagnosed with cancer, I remember my mom wondering aloud if she could make it on her own-she’d gone from living with her parents straight to being married to my dad. She’d never had to cope with tough stuff on her own, so at almost fifty she was still unsure of her own personal strength.
- You Can Make Amazing Friends. Good relationships are wonderful but time consuming. Being single allows you the time and emotional energy to build deep and lasting friendships-friendships that will last even if relationships don’t.
- You Can Make Decisions for You. Being in a relationship means making a lot of decisions as a team, so enjoy the freedom you have to do things your way! Right now you get to choose exactly how to spend your time and money-from studying abroad to taking on a new job to road-tripping with your roommates. And you don’t have to share the remote.
- You Can Test Your Boundaries. Living at home or being in a serious relationship can both affect your ability to learn who you really are. It’s possible, of course, but it’s harder because (I reiterate!) your time and commitment are both more divided. So try new things (legal things, I mean), meet new people, and make big goals. See just how much you are capable of when you let yourself try.
And stop worrying about getting into a relationship if you’re not in one yet! The good ones find you when you’re doing the right things, anyway.
And as always, please feel free to share your reasons why being single rocks with the class.
photo: lusi
February 11th, 2009
Back in August reader Sangeeta suggested that I write an article about coping with a breakup in college. I thought it was a great idea, especially because I still remember how much my own first breakup hurt
This is my personal advice (basically, this is what I tell my closest friends) about what helped me get through, so take it with a grain of salt and feel free to add your own thoughts & ideas in the comments.
Take Some Time Off.
Making the “just friends” thing work without taking a break from each other in between can be painful-and it can really mess with your head. After my first boyfriend and I broke up, we kept in touch by email for quite a while-and both of us kept feeling like maybe we would get back together. We never did, and it really prolonged the pain of the breakup to keep talking and hoping. Also-take off your promise ring or whatever little memento you keep on you all the time, and give back the box of his or her stuff you’ve got scattered around your place.
My Tip: Even if you plan to be friends, let them know you’re going to take some time-a GOOD amount of time, not just a couple days-in which you don’t interact with each other. If you have to, ignore your ex’s calls, block him or her from your IM, and filter his or her emails to go to your spam inbox-and don’t feel guilty about it. You need this time to let yourself start healing. (P.S. The “just friends” thing is REALLY hard.)
Keep Your Brain Busy.
Why is it that just when you’re feeling okay the most random thing-a paperclip, the smell of a banana muffin, or commercial-suddenly reminds you of your ex? Well, if you were together (or on the phone/IMing/emailing with each other) day in, day out, for months or years, your brain has naturally formed a lot of ties with him or her. And every time you remember that you can’t share the best joke or a story about your mom with your ex, it feels like you got sucker punched.
My Tip: To keep your mind from wandering back to painful places, try to keep as busy as possible. Go out with friends, really dive in to your school work, and/or take on more hours at your job. Join a club. Meet new people. Explore your college town! There are still going to be things that trigger that memory switch, but the distraction will help you in the long run.
Vent, but Don’t Wallow.
The first few days are really hard. You probably want to just crawl under the covers and mope. Feeling like that is okay, but wallowing in that feeling-basically sitting around feeling sorry for yourself-isn’t going to help. Also, if all you talk to your friends (or dates) about is your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, you might notice that people don’t want to hang around you as much.
My Tip: Check in with friends about how you’re feeling-especially if you’re feeling particularly depressed-and let them help you out of it, but don’t let yourself go off on a rant or throw a pity party every time your BFF is around. If you’re having a lot of trouble coping, consider talking to a counselor about it. Most colleges offer free psychological services to their students, from a psychologist to support groups, and they can be really helpful (and more anonymous, which often makes things more comfortable).
Wait it Out (and Be Open-minded)
Breakups are hard-there’s just no way around that-and the hardest part is that it takes a while to feel better. Wait it out, and be open to new experiences. Go on dates, hang out with friends, and try new things (in a healthy way). Don’t sit around hoping you’ll get a phone call or an IM from your ex-after a while you really will start to feel better.
photo: Hole in the Heart by biewoef
September 25th, 2008
A lot of you have requested more social life/relationship posts, so here is the first of many to come…
The leap from high school to college is a big one. It’s your first time on your own, really making decisions for yourself, and that means you’re going to change a lot-and so is everyone else.
Relationships change between the end of high school and college graduation-but not all of them are bad. While it can be unsettling to see cracks form in what once was a rock-solid friendship, you are just as likely to find that you and your friends change for the better.
Girlfriend/Boyfriend
Some high school sweethearts do stay together through college, but they are the exception rather than the rule. It takes a lot of work to make the transition from high school relationship to a real adult relationship-especially if it’s a long-distance thing-and it also takes a lot of maturity (which not everyone has at the beginning of college).
The majority of high-school-to-college relationships come to an end before graduation, whether because of freedom issues, changing values, loss of interest, or pure geographical distance. That doesn’t mean you have to give up on high school romance altogether, just be aware that change is the central point of the college experience.
Best Friend
More than likely, your best friend will stick around. It’s probably safer if you don’t room together-girls especially seem to have a hard time transitioning from friends to roommates-so keep your friendship strong by living apart. Even if you go to separate schools, your best friend will, most likely, keep that title.
That said, you are both stepping into a huge new world of people, and broadening your friend circle can cause jealousy. It’s not bad to have new friends, or if your best friend grows attached to his/her roommate, just remember not to drop your friend just because you’re meeting new people.
High School Friends
If you have a close knit group of friends, chances are you’ll stay in touch. My high school friends started a group blog so we could all keep up with each other as we went off to different schools. Now, five years later, we mostly keep up via group emails, and often get together for dinner when a few of us are visiting parents.
Everyone Else from High School
Your acquaintances, one-class friends, and yes, even the people you didn’t like will probably fade out of your life now. Sure, you can keep tabs on each other via Facebook or MySpace, but you probably won’t talk or email much, and you’re unlikely to get together-or really even run into each other-on visits home.
There’s nothing wrong with that! You can always keep in touch with the people you want to stay friends with, but if you lose contact with someone, you can always catch up on Facebook or at your 10 year reunion!
photo: happy friends 2 by lusi
August 26th, 2008
Living on a shoe-string budget doesn’t mean you can’t go on awesome dates-it just means you have to be a little more creative. : ) Here are fifteen of my favorite ideas for great dates that won’t break the bank:
Foodie Dates
1. Cook together. Shop for favorite pizza toppings & whip one up together, or use a recipe from Copykat Recipes (http://www.copykat.com/) to recreate your favorite restaurant fare.
2. Progressive dinner. Plan a meal with a few other couples. Everyone meets up at one house, has a course, and moves on to the next-all the way from appetizers to desserts!
3. Pizza for Dessert. Try throwing together a dessert pizza with a cookie dough or brownie base. Gather your favorite candies, fruits, and syrups for toppings and wing it, or follow this recipe.
Nostalgia Dates
4. Relive your childhood. Head over to an elementary school or playground for some swinging & tetherball, make chalk drawings on your driveway, and finish up the evening watching your favorite childhood cartoons and eating sugar cereal in a blanket fort.
5. First-Date Do-Over. Live your first date over again: Try to get the details as close to the first time as possible, and talk about how you each felt & what you remember most. (If your first date was a catastrophe, do it over the way you wish it went!)
6. Home Sweet Hometown. Visit one of your home towns, and show your sweetie the spots that are most important-or most fun-from your past.
7. Play Teacher. Teach your date something new-something you’re an old pro at and passionate about-and enjoy reliving your own learning process. Anything from skateboarding to painting, kickball and beyond. Be patient and make it fun (and if it goes badly, just make up for it with some ice cream at the end. It worked when you were a kid, didn’t it?).
Mixed-Up Timing Dates
8. Picnic in the Rain. Add the fun of a picnic to a rainy day by packing a lunch and eating in the car. Watch the rain come down & enjoy some hot soup or cocoa. If you’re feeling adventurous, go puddle jumping after. : )
9. Pajamafied. Make an ordinary activity goofier and more fun by adding pajamas to the mix. Catch a matinee movie in your PJs, or check around for local hangouts that offer pajama discounts (some Color Me Mine locations offer a 50% deal for pajama-wearers!).
10. Good Day, Sunshine. Break with the traditional sunset-watching date! Get up early, pack breakfast (cereal and a thermos of milk will do if you’re not a chef), and watch the sun come up.
Coffee & Culture
11. Ifs, Ands, and Buts. Pick up a question book (I like “If…Questions for the Game of Life“) and grab a coffee or two. Snuggle into a comfy chair at the shop and quiz swap questions.
12. Amusing Museums. Many museums offer free admission on certain weekdays. Check the calendar of your local one and go peruse the dino bones or modern art.
13. Local Literates. Stop by an open mic night or other event at a café or bookstore (search through Barnes & Noble’s events here) and see what local culture has to offer. If you’re feeling brave, you might even jump in for a spontaneous poem or song yourself.
14. In the Park. Fair-weather cities often offer summer series of free (or very low cost) movie screenings or concerts in local parks. Take a picnic or some beach chairs and settle in for some relaxation and hand-holding.
15. L’Artiste. Spend some time with some wonderful art-for free. Browse through local art galleries, check out your campus’s art department offerings, or scour the local paper for upcoming art shows or festivals, like Santa Barbara’s annual chalk arts festival.
photo: couple by Andrew C.
June 16th, 2008
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