Posts filed under 'life 101'
It’s about time to wrap up my thoughts on how to find balance (and move on to something new) but I have one more thought to share. Since I moved to the east coast, I’ve found living in a new place (far, far away from my family and friends) has been both challenging and liberating. I love the sense that this new home–and the new school year–are opportunities to start fresh and really get my life in order.
On Finding Balance
For the past couple weeks I’ve been sharing some thoughts on how to balance your life, and I’m actually enjoying working on this right along with you. It’s no simple thing, really. How do you decide what time gets allotted where?
A few months ago I came across an article in Real Simple that talked about defining your “Core Values” and how it could make your life more streamlined and successful. I tucked it away for a long time, but pulled out the article a few weeks ago, and decided to give it a shot.
If you worked in your personal mission statement, you’re already halfway there. If not, why not get started with me now?
Core Values as Priorities
The point of deciding on your “Core Values” is to help you pre-align your priorities, before the opportunity comes up for you to get off track. I literally have a list of them written down, and plan to post it where I will see it all the time–that way if I’m wondering if I should take on a new bit of work or spend more time with my friends, I’ll have my personal values (and pre-made decisions) staring me in the face.
For me, a Core Value is either a “focal point” or a “way of life,” so to get you started, here are a couple of example core values (some are my own) and how they could apply to everyday life.
- Education. The way of life here is to “always be learning” so this will apply even after school. During school, it means education is a priority and deserves time and effort devoted to it–so no skipping out on study sessions to watch TV (especially when you can DVR it for later).
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- Family First. This is one of the first items on my list, and it basically means that if necessary I will drop everything to support my loved ones. I will buy a plane ticket using money I’d saved for something else, I will miss a big deadline, I will do whatever it takes in an emergency situation. And in day-to-day life, it means I will make time for my family, even when I’m tempted to do something for myself.
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- Health. Besides eating well and making time for exercise, this could apply to getting enough sleep (a common problem in college, especially for yours truly). It also applies to mental health, so taking time to relax could fall into this category.
These are just a few ideas. You could really go anywhere with it. Some other items on my list are “People Before Things” (or “forgive your brother when he breaks your bike”), Gratitude, and Communication.
The Bottom Line
Again, there is no sure-fire way to get yourself completely organized and balanced, but making a list like this helps you be really aware of what you want out of life–and that can help you make better decisions in the long run, because you know where the balance of your priorities will go.
It’s as simple as asking yourself: How does this fit in with my core values? Give it a try–How does taking on an extra class/quitting your job/spending free time reading/anything else fit in with your core values?
What about you? What focal points, goals, and values get the most attention and emphasis in your life?
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November 9th, 2009
One thing I loved about getting out on my own was the lack of parental commentary on my wardrobe. I never went too crazy–I’m a jeans-and-T-shirt girl at heart, hence my choice of sunny, beautiful UCSD–but I tried pairing black nail polish with pearls, got an extra ear piercing, and considered going by my middle name.
Reinvent
College can be an amazing time–the freedom to be yourself, finally, and most times the ability to leave your high school label behind. If you were the criminal, the jock, the princess, the nerd, (yeah sorry, I love The Breakfast Club) then, now is your opportunity to break the mold. To redefine yourself.
Now that I’m out of school, I’m working on redefining myself once again. Hey, if Madonna can do it at age fifty-something, I think we have the right to do it at twenty-something. Right? So I’m working on finding a look, a style, that encompasses who I am.
Find Your Look
First, obviously, you need to find your look. I love scoping out the amazing style at Lookbook.nu/ (found via Charade), a website that lets everyday people post their fashion forward looks for all to see. Because they aren’t models or magazine editors, their looks and fashion choices are much more accessible to our teeny budgets.
For more inspiration, check out The Sartorialist, a blog devoted to fashion on the streets of cities like Paris, Florence, and Milan.
Three Secrets
If you’ve ever read a good fashion article, you’ve probably been able to piece together these three secrets of good style:
- Be yourself. Your clothes should reflect the person you are on the inside, projecting an honest image. Remember, first impressions make a difference (one of my best friends caught the attention of her now-husband with a pair of Converse tennis shoes!). Plus, you should feel comfortable (at least emotionally, even if those heels are killing you!) in your clothes, and comfortable with yourself.
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- Start With Basics. I just adore Tim Gunn. He is all about being positive and projecting the best you. And he–and other fashion pros like him–recommends starting with the basics. Get a couple of good quality classic, neutral pieces that will go with anything you wear. He’s written a whole book about style, but here are his top 10 essential wardrobe elements.
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- Tailor. The difference between looking professional and chic or sloppy and clueless isn’t money–it’s fit. A tailor (or, if you’re lucky, your mom, grandma, or fashion student BFF) can make simple, inexpensive adjustments to your favorite clothes. A good fit looks good and feels good.
That’s about it for my style expertise. Please feel free to share your fashion tips and go-to links in the comments!
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August 15th, 2009
Lots of us–I’d hope to say even most of us–love our families. But that does not mean that we want to spend a day riding mini-rides at Legoland or following Mom around Monticello. So if your parents are insisting on some family time when all you want to do is go to the mall with your friends, I am happy to say that I have a few tips for how to (hopefully) enjoy fulfilling the family-time requirements of the summer.
(Okay, and actually, I am secretly a big fan of Monticello… 
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Plan It Yourself
Want to give your parents a shock and knock out some family-bonding at the same time? I’d suggest planning a family excursion yourself. It will get you some good credit with your parents, and, best of all, it means you can choose something you actually want to do.
Split Up
The best family outings have a little something for everyone–it means everyone can split off in different directions when you start to get on each other’s nerves. This is especially important for families where interests are very different, or there is a huge age range between the kids.
I suggest keeping it simple. Make a trip to the park or the beach. Pack some snacks or lunch for a picnic, and make it clear beforehand that its supposed to be a relaxing time. Mom can read the book she got at the library, your little brothers can build a sandcastle or play frisbee, your sister can feed birds, and you and Dad can go for a run. Its all about being flexible while being together.
Get it Together
If your parents don’t buy in to the separate-but-together idea, or if you secretly kind of want to have some real quality bonding time, try doing something new together. Getting family members of all ages together for something completely new can be fun (and sometimes hilarious, depending on what you attempt–can you imagine your Dad joining you for a hip hop class?).
Try taking a class together, even if it is just a one-day class. Artistic classes like dance or pottery can be good individual activities to do together, or something like a cooking lesson can be good to get everyone working as a team.
Attitude Adjustment
Just like in most other areas of life, your attitude is the real secret to enjoying your family. So if you’re feeling bummed out by your siblings (or parents) try to adjust your point of view.
First, shift your perspective. If you have the kind of family that wants to spend time together, that is something to be grateful for. Not everyone can claim that. It means that your parents and sibs value you, your presence, and your place in the family. So that’s pretty cool.
Second, make the decision to have fun. That really makes a huge difference. Decide that you’re going to try to make everyone else enjoy themselves, too. So if you’re waiting in a long line or trapped in the car, play games with your bored brother. If you’re visiting the same museum for the fouth time, learn something new, or compete with your sister to see who knows the museum guide’s speech better.
In a few months you’ll be back at school, so make the most of this time while you have it–you might actually miss it when you head back.
Photo: Family’s Happy Day by Marcos Santos
May 27th, 2009
I love making lists. They keep me organized, on task, and in the moment. I also love making goals. In fact, I love it so much that I make a point of setting a big fat list of goals twice a year–once at New Years and once at my birthday.
The thing is, life is short. College goes by fast. And if you don’t know what you want to do, there’s no way you can get it done. So combining two of my favorite things into a list of goals is the natural next step to make sure time doesn’t get away from me. Plus, it’s fun.
The “25 Things” List
One of the best things I ever did for myself was the creation of a list I wrote my freshman year of college called “Things to To Do Before I Turn 25″ (as 25 nears, though, I admit that I’ve let the number slip up to 30!). I knew there were some things I wanted to get done in my life, but for one reason or another, I hadn’t done them–so I decided to write them down and cross them off as I finished them.
Write Your List!
When you think of the things you most want to do, what comes to mind? Write these things down, and give yourself a deadline to achieve them. They can be big or small, easy or hard. For example, here are a few items from my list (which ended up having more than 25 things on it!):
2. Stand in falling snow
5. Do a self portrait
13. Speak French to someone who learned it in France
15. See New York
26. Drive a really expensive car
32. Crochet a scarf
35. Get married
37. Write a book
So basically, your list can be anything you want to do; from riding a horse to building a house, write down your real goals!
If you’re having trouble getting started, try borrowing other people’s goals. One of my friends wrote a blog entry about how she wanted to read the same number of books as she was years old every year, and I loved that idea so much that I added it to one of my yearly goal sets.
Make it Happen
Once you’ve written down your list, post it somewhere you’ll see it often. The whole “out of sight, out of mind” works both ways–if you see your list often, it will stay on your mind.
The next step, of course, is to stop putting things off. When you get the opportunity to do one of the things on your list, take it! I can’t tell you how good it feels to cross something off–and so I’ve actually managed to finish 22 of my 38 things!
photo by kakiw40
March 10th, 2009
It’s easy to pass off Ferris Beuller (famed for his Day Off) as the ultimate slacker, but with this opinion I must beg to differ. In fact, I personally feel that most of us have a lot to learn from dear Ferris. Allow me to enumerate the many life lessons exemplified by his very awesome ideals.
Do Your Research.
Ferris was no dummy. When he decided to take on a big project (his day off, of course), he planned. He prepared. He researched. He chose the day, selected his accomplices, and even worked up a very believable illness (complete with clammy hands). And because of his preparation, his very excellent schemes were (mostly) successful. And that, my friends, is why you should study up before you write your midterm papers.
Take Risks.
Sure, Ferris planned carefully, but he also knew when to take a risk or two. (Like visiting Wrigley Field where he ended up on national TV, or dancing on that float at a parade near his dad’s office.) I’m not going to recommend you borrow a Ferrari without asking, but I do advocate taking risks that would improve your life–like trying out a daunting class, finally asking your crush out, or studying abroad in a foreign country. Ferris would do it.
Be Cultured.
A wise teacher once said, “The point of an education is to get the joke.” And oh, that is true. (Example: I can’t tell you HOW many jokes I catch on the Simpsons that I would have missed without paying attention in English class.)
I believe Ferris would agree. He did not skip school simply to take in a movie. Oh no! He visited real, meaningful venues like the Art Institute of Chicago and the Chicago Board of Trade. He experienced lasting parts of our culture. So be like Ferris, and next time you’re trying to think of a way to spend a Thursday afternoon, hit a museum instead of a Starbucks. So you, too, may “get the joke.”
Network.
Networking will get you far, both in and out of school. Ferris was so tapped in to his high school’s web of students that no sooner did he show up “sick” than the whole school knew–they were doing a “Save Ferris” fundraiser by the end of his day off. So if you want to open up potential job opportunities early on, get to know your peers, your professors, and others in your industry.
Occasionally, Take a Day Off.
Work hard in school, at work, and at your relationships, but every now and then you need to give yourself a break. Take a Saturday to just enjoy the fresh air, see the sights, do something you’ve always wanted to do.
And if you haven’t yet seen Ferris Beuller’s Day Off, I would highly recommend it–it is so choice.
Until next time,
photo: kidney bean by nisey
January 29th, 2009
Every now and then my mom will call to check up on me–she wants to make sure I’m not walking around alone in the dark or otherwise putting myself in some kind of danger. As unnecessary as it may be (I’ve lived on my own for a few years now), it is a good reminder to keep myself out of potentially threatening situations.
So in tribute to worried moms everywhere, I thought I’d write up a little list of tips for keeping yourself safe when you’re out and about. These are all about preventing bad situations.
The Basics
- The Buddy System. Yep, all these years later the tried-and-true field trip rule of having a “buddy” is still a good idea. You don’t have to hold hands and walk in line formation anymore, but it is a good idea to have a friend with you when you’re going out at night.
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- Checking In. When you’re at home, you have parents and siblings to worry about you if you don’t get home at a normal time, but away at school you have to ask people to worry. So if you’re going out–especially alone–let your roommate know when you’ll be back and ask him/her to text & check in if you’re not back by then. It’s a good “just in case” practice (AND your roommate won’t care if you text back that you’re going to stay out for a few more hours like your parents might!).
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- Plan Ahead. As much as possible, plan to be in populated, well-lit areas.
Safety Alone & at Night
I took a self defense class with my mom before I went away to school, and in addition to teaching me some handy moves to pull in a dire situation, the instructor also told a few tips about staying safe if you are out alone, especially at night. So here are your night/alone safety tips, courtesy of my instructor:
- Stay OFF Your Cell Phone. Talking on the phone is distracting and can leave you unaware of your surroundings.
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- No Ponytails. Ponytails are easy for attackers to grab, and they often target people with ponytails for this reason. (Who’d have thought your hair made a difference?)
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- Walk Tall. Stand tall and walk confidently–this is supposed to deter potential attackers who usually go for someone who looks timid and less likely to fight back.
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- Prepare BEFORE You Get to Your Car. Have your keys out and ready before you get to your car, and be sure to check beneath the car and in the back seat before you get in. Lock the doors as soon as possible.
Take a Self Defense Class!
I loved taking a self defense class (they taught me how to flip a full grown man onto his back to protect myself!) and it only took a few hours on a Saturday morning. You can often find one at local community centers or on campus.
photo: Downtown by stephmck99
January 26th, 2009
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