Posts filed under 'life 101'
One of my weirdest moments as a freshman was when a girl who completely ignored me in high school stopped to say hi outside our dorm building. I was kind of floored (and a little mad) that suddenly she thought she could act like we were friends.
It took me a while to figure out what happened-college had become a starting-over point.
The New You (or the Real You)
You’ve probably noticed that college campuses are bigger (sometimes WAY bigger) than high school ones. And there are a LOT of people you don’t know. The cool part about that is that they don’t know you either, so you’re not locked in to the mold you were expected to fit in high school.
Take this opportunity to show people who you really are, and to start figuring things out for yourself. Maybe you always wanted to be in a play, learn yoga, or even try out some research. At most colleges students are a pretty open-minded. (So you can be on the track team AND research invertebrates, and no one will be confused by the jock-science overlap).
“Finding” Yourself…
The best way to find out what you do and don’t like is to try things. I’m not talking about experimenting with drugs or dating everyone this side of the Mississippi, I just mean it’s time to explore the things you’ve been afraid of or uninterested in in the past. Some ideas:
- Try new styles of clothes, music, hair, etc.
- Explore the area your school is in and/or test out the nightlife (but be safe).
- Go to any club or activity that sounds interesting at least once (this is also a great way to meet new people).
- Take classes that excite you-the kind that feel more like fun than like a chore.
- Explore religious options if you’re unsure where you stand, either on or off-campus.
- Get involved in volunteering (talk about a great way to get exposed to new things…this builds your résumé too!)
- Learn about different cultures-better yet, study abroad!
…Without Messing with your Future
For a lot of people the journey of “finding themselves” involves some big changes-not all of them good. You probably already know this, but there are a few things that can really mess with your head, your GPA, and your future. You know them already, but for the sake of saying it, these basic items include:
- Drugs. Yes, they’re more accessible. Yes, you’re less likely to get caught. But the same rules of reality still apply-they can mess with your brain (literally), they can get you expelled, and they’re dangerous. Plus, some people (including some that I know) get so into them that they ruin their GPA, and/or miss or delay a shot at the career they wanted.
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- Sex. Besides the issue of possible pregnancy, there are a lot of emotions tied to sex-it can create at least a fleeting sense of intimacy even if you don’t have a close relationship-and that can be misleading and confusing when you wake up to the reality of the situation. That’s why one-night stands can mess with your head so bad. So, just like you learned in Sex Ed, try to make it a positive experience by being safe, and making sure you are (and will be) comfortable with the situation and the circumstances that result.
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- Alcohol. Obviously for the freshmen/sophomore end there could be legal ramifications of drinking, but at some point during your college career you’ll be “legal.” But even then you should be careful with alcohol. For one thing, it’s bad for you-it dehydrates your body, makes you sick, and can be addictive. Secondly, misuse of it can ruin relationships and/or get you into some really uncomfortable situations. So if or when you drink, be cautious.
photo: acer RoY by fishmonk
September 1st, 2008
Getting ready for the back-to-school days? Here’s a list of links to help you weather the basic issues of college. Feel free to contribute via comments so I can add to the list (I’ll credit you with the find!).
How to Budget
How to Stay Healthy
How to Do Laundry
How to Study
How to Get Started With Cooking
How to Look Good
photo: Boiling Water by alfredo-9
August 13th, 2008
Congratulations-you’ve finished (or are about to finish) a year of college! Planning on heading home for the summer?
Dealing with Parents
Every parent has a different reaction to watching their child go off to college-and an equally different reaction when they come back home for the summer. However Mom or Dad deals, it’s best for you to be prepared to have a couple of conversations with them about how you both expect things to work out.
If your parents seem to be slipping back into thinking you’re still in high school, you might want to sit down and compromise on some updated house rules. After a year on your own, you probably don’t need to be woken up, and you might feel resistant to a curfew, but you also need to take into account that Mom & Dad are giving you free food and rent.
Bottom Line: Living at home involves some give-and-take from both sides, so be willing to compromise. If your parents insist on a curfew, try to get one you both feel is reasonable. Work out house rules so that you all feel respected as adults.
Getting a Summer Job
Every summer the job market is flooded with college kids looking for summer work, so the sooner you can get into the market, the better! It’s a good idea to have family or friends back home keep an eye out for possible jobs for you even before you get out of school.
These ideas about making money over break and the Pay for College Blog’s winter break job ideas might be helpful, too!
Bottom Line: However you choose to spend your summer, don’t miss out on this opportunity to build up some more cash for the next school year (or your future) while you’re enjoying your free summer stay at the comfortable Mom & Dad Residence Hall!
photo: Awesome House 2 by reznor70
May 29th, 2008
It’s the same thing every year–somehow I always make resolutions that I can’t (or, okay, don’t) follow through with (like the infamous “Go to the gym 5x a week!!!”). I do like having the opportunity to start over, though, especially on the school front, so here are a few college goals that you CAN (and should!) follow through with:
- Go to Class, and REALLY Be There
It’s a big temptation to spend class, doodling, checking your email, reading as many blogs as possible, or researching the lowest price on tickets for the next Ben Lee concert. But if you really make yourself pay attention to the lecture, it will make studying WAY easier! Try to be passionate about what you’re learning-it will probably help you boost your grades! (See also: How to Stay Awake in Class!)
- Get to Know at Least One Professor
There are so many good reasons to get to know some of your professors! They can be great contacts for tutoring and TAing positions, they can write you letters of recommendation for scholarships and grad school, and they can help you with coursework. It just takes a little of your time, so why not go to office hours once a week, send some helpful email suggestions about the class, or even just ask some questions about the homework!
- Become More Financially Savvy
Financial experts agree that your teens and early twenties can have a major impact (good or bad!) on your later life. So take a closer look at your finances this year! Find creative ways to save money, learn what a credit score is and how to build it, guard your spending habits, know the difference between private and federal student loans, and maybe even think about how to save a little for later.
- Know Your Deadlines
One of the best things I ever did in college was to make a simple list of all my due dates for the quarter. When I got home on the first day, I took out all my syllabi, found all the due dates, and typed them up in order. Then I tacked it above my computer, and crossed off each item as I finished it. It was SO simple, but it helped me make sure I was never surprised by a paper or test.
- Find Something to be Passionate About
Whether it’s a class, a club, a language, or anything in between, find something on campus to be passionate about. It will give you a goal to strive for, and something to look forward to during long study hours. That’s a pretty easy one, right? 
Happy New Year!!!
photo road trip 1 by markmiller
January 3rd, 2008
I tried to write a detailed post this morning about how to cope with trouble back home while you are away at school, but I struggled to really put into words what it feels like, how much it hurts, and how to cope with it.
Two years ago this week, I was preparing for finals as my dad prepared to go into a surgery that we hoped would remove all traces of cancer from his body. Though I took all my finals and my dad made it safely through surgery, the weeks leading up to those days—and the months of hospitalizations, chemotherapy, and pain that my dad experienced afterward—were some of the hardest of my life.
Though its hard to give good general advice when everyone copes differently, there are a few things you should know if you find yourself in this situation:
- Know Your Limits. You need to decide how much you will struggle in school based on whatever is going on with your family or friend. Decide if you think you can make it through the quarter/semester, or if this is such an extreme situation that you need to drop a class or take a break from school. Talk to a parent or adult that you trust to help you make this decision.
- Tell Your Professors and/or Employer. Don’t feel like it is a cop-out to explain your personal situation to your professors and/or employer. Your professor may be able to offer you additional help, or refer you to someone who can tutor you if you find yourself struggling to keep up in class. Your employer needs to understand your situation because he/she may notice a change in your mood, and because you may need time off to visit home.
- Search Out Support. The best support I got was from a friend who had been through a similar situation—he was able to help me understand that my feelings were normal, and was empathetic. You should also find out what your school has to offer. UCSD’s Student Health Services offered free sessions with a psychologist to all students, and also had student support groups for all different kinds of issues.
- Reach Out to Others. One thing that is almost guaranteed to lift your spirits is to focus on helping other people instead of on your own worries. I made a lot of phone calls to my mom to cheer her up, and they cheered me up, too. Don’t feel that you have to help just one person or that you have to do a lot of big things—small, random acts of kindness to others will help you get outside your own pain, and even a small break from worrying is worth the effort.
- Rest and Nourish. The health of your body affects your emotional state—you are much more likely to feel sad or fearful if you are tired. Worry, fear, and depression all take a lot out of you, so take good care of your body. Pay attention to what you eat, and try to keep eating healthily and on a regular basis. Also, understand that you might need more rest during stressful times—you might need to go to bed earlier or take a nap.
Remember, everyone copes in different ways. My younger brother couldn’t stand to go visit my dad in the hospital—it was just too painful for him. I was on the opposite side of the spectrum, and only felt good when I was sitting by Dad’s bed in the hospital.
If you have been through something like this, I encourage you to leave thoughts, ideas, and experiences in comments for your fellow readers—it really helps to know you’re not alone.
Photo: together by scol22
December 10th, 2007
By now you have probably heard about the wildfires spreading throughout San Diego,
which also happen to be the reason I didn’t post on Monday. They have been burning for three days, and we still don’t know when they will be under control, so for now we are just praying for the best.
This has brought back memories of my first year of college, when fires shut down the UCSD campus for a week. It was really scary, and I had no car and no way to get home, so I had to stay in the dorms with some other kids. I wanted to give you a few thoughts about what you can do if you find yourself in this kind of situation.
Be Prepared. There are a lot of resources for how to prepare yourself for an emergency situation. Check out the links below:
Red Cross – Get Prepared and Preparing at Home
Ready.gov
72hours.org
Preparing an Emergency Kit
Stay calm. This is the hardest piece of advice, but you really have to keep your wits about you if you find yourself near a fire, in an earthquake, flood, or other natural disaster. You might have to make some tough decisions, and panicking will just make that harder.
Get in touch with home if you can. Talking to your parents will make both of you feel better—it lets them know you’re okay, and they can help you figure out what steps to take next.
Listen to the authorities (your RA, your school, the government, etc). One of the biggest reasons that people get hurt or in trouble during natural disasters is that they won’t listen to the people who know what is going on. If the police tell you to evacuate, you need to do it. If the news says to stay inside and away from smoke, pay attention! It will save you a lot of time and trouble.
Get supplies together—just in case. If you have the time and capability, you should make sure you have any supplies you might need. Start with non-perishable foods, water, first aid supplies like medication, antiseptic and band aids, a flashlight, and batteries. Then add on whatever else you might need depending on your situation. If you’re evacuating, for example, don’t forget extra clothes and underwear and a blanket. The nice thing about being on a college campus, is that they will take a lot of responsibility for you. In most cases, college staff or older students will be there to help you get wherever you need to go, and make sure you have shelter and food.
October 25th, 2007
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