Posts filed under 'what to expect'
Whether your new roommate is a friend from high school or a total stranger, you’ll probably find that living with someone is completely different from hanging out at night or on the weekends. Some roommates who start off well together end up not-so-friendly by the end of a year of living together, mostly because they don’t communicate well about what they want out of the living situation. If you want to keep (or start) a friendship with your roomie, it’s a good idea to get everything out on the table right from the beginning.
Setting Ground Rules
One thing that makes a big difference is talking to your roommate about “ground rules”—rules that you both agree to abide by.
It might sound like an awkward conversation, but it’s necessary for two reasons: First, you are both used to a certain lifestyle, so you will both have opinions about how your life goes (and your roommate will affect that). Second, you will want to set the rules before one of you does something that makes the other uncomfortable (or angry).
Keep in mind—this shouldn’t be an angry or accusatory conversation, just a calm discussion of what you are both okay with and what you would like to avoid.
When to Set the Rules
It’s best to set up the ground rules as early as possible, because they can act as a barrier against roommate problems.
You might even want to set rules before you even move in to your dorm room or apartment. If you don’t want to talk face-to-face, discussing rules beforehand is even better, because you can do it via IM, email, or over the phone.
What to Talk About
My roommate and I had rules about quite a few things—like giving each other advance notice if guests were going to crash on our floor. You don’t want to walk into your room and find a party raging on your last cramming night before a big final. Here are a few things you might want to talk about with your roommate:
- Overnight guests
- Guests of the opposite sex
- Cell phone use (hours, in the room or in the hall, etc.)
- Music (types, volume, headphones)
- TV use
- Study time
- Borrowing clothes & other belongings (DVDs, CDs, etc.)
- Sharing (or not sharing) food
- Bedtime
- Alarm settings (how many times can you hit snooze?)
- Locking the door
- Using each other’s things (microwave, fridge, TV, computer, stereo, etc.)
Basic rule of thumb: if there is anything you are worried about, you should bring it up now. You’re a lot more likely to get into a screaming match if your roommate has already been doing something obnoxious for weeks.
September 10th, 2007
Some of you have already had your first week of college, others won’t even move in to the dorms until late in September. Either way, there are some things to know about the first few weeks of college:
The PERFECT Time to Meet People…
…is right now. The first couple weeks are probably the easiest time to make friends. Why? Because everyone else is just as freaked out as you are by all the newness of college. A few people will have high school friends around, a few will know people from orientation, but for the most part no one has formed a clique, and no one has been labeled as a “jock,” “geek,” “prep,” “punk,” etc., so it is easier to mix and mingle now.
Go to College Activities
Colleges put on a lot of great activities your first week or so, because they want freshmen to meet each other and adjust to living away from home. Sitting in your room will just make you feel homesick, so keep busy—get out there and do things, even if you have to go by yourself.
Find Out Where Your Classes Are
Move-in day is usually before the start of classes, and some college campuses can seem huge (I remember my first day at UCSD thinking I would never, NEVER, learn my way around… It only took a few weeks). Get ready for classes the day before: walk around campus and find where the rooms are so you don’t feel pressured or get lost right before class starts.
Ask Questions of Other Students
College kids are usually a little more mature than high school kids, so don’t feel like you can’t ask some Sophomore where the math building is (trust me, they remember what it’s like to feel lost). Also, I used to check to make sure I was in the right classroom on the first day of classes. You can just ask someone next to you, “Is this (whichever class)?” Pretty simple. And better than sitting through a complicated engineering lecture when you meant to be in the poetry class next door.
Call Home to Check In
Mom and Dad miss you… Humor them and just let them know you’re okay. Trust me, it will make your Mom’s week if you call her.
Stick Around on Weekends
That said, it’s a good idea to wait a while to go home for a visit. Obviously weekends are a lot more social than school days, so if you’re back at home you miss a opportunities to meet people. Also, going home too soon can make you feel more homesick during the week—give yourself the chance to settle in and really start enjoying college.
September 6th, 2007
College professors will probably be very different from your high school teachers. Part of this is because college classes are different from high school classes; part of it is because they have a lot more freedom; and part of it remains a mystery.
First of all, with classes ranging from 15 all the way up to 400 or 500 students, your professor may not be able to devote individual time to you like your high school teachers did. In the larger classes, they don’t usually learn your name unless you raise your hand a lot in class or make an effort to get to know the professor in office hours. They are also much less likely to work their schedule around you—meaning you can’t take a final early so you can go on a vacation—but some still will try to help you out when they can.
That’s another thing—if you have a question or need help, you usually can’t just hang around after class like you did in high school. You will probably have to either make an appointment with your professor, meet him or her during office hours (a time professors allow students to come discuss class or whatever else with them), or email them and hope they get back to you. My advice? Go to office hours! Professors are more likely to remember your name—and help you out with questions or problems—if they can see that you are making an effort.
Just because professors are busy doesn’t mean they won’t be willing to help. You’ll probably get a couple grumpy old tenured professors (tenure basically means they can’t be fired) who don’t really want to be teaching, but you’ll also get some who are very passionate about what they do. A lot of professors really care about how their students are doing, and want to help them. (Find out what students think of the professors at your school at www.ratemyprofessors.com ).
One more thing that can be a little different—you won’t always have a professor teaching you. Some classes have a big lecture taught by the professor, as well as smaller meetings (like labs, discussions, or sections) taught or led by a TA, who are often graduate students.
Personally, I think the best part is that you finally get a voice. At the end of the course, you will get to anonymously review your professor. So if you like him/her, you can give out praise, and if he/she was an unfair grader, a bad lecturer, or incapable of ending class on time, you get to share your opinion on that, too.
September 4th, 2007
Classes in college are different from high school classes. Here’s a little breakdown of what to expect.
Difficulty
First of all, I can almost guarantee that at some point in your college career, you will have a professor who says, “Look at the person to your left and the person to your right—one of the three of you will not pass this class.” Don’t believe him (or her). A lot of times professors try to intimidate kids to drop out to lower their class size, but you CAN pass college classes, its just a matter of learning what each professor values and tests on. Talk to other students to find out how hard a class is—they’ve actually taken the class, not just taught it.
Class Size
For one thing, a class of 30 is considered small in college. Classes that small are usually labs or liberal arts (literature, writing, visual arts) courses, where you need more individual attention. Lecture classes can be anywhere from 50 to 400 or 500 students, depending on the college and the necessity/popularity of the class. I had several biology and psychology classes that were literally held in a movie theater. (The exception is smaller private schools which tend to have smaller classes overall.)
Class Time
Class times vary by school. At my college the shorter classes, which met 3 times a week, were about 50 minutes. Medium classes, which met twice a week, were about 1 hour and 20 minutes. The longest classes varied up to about 3 or 4 hours, but usually met only once a week.
Course Length
Unlike most high school courses, you only take college classes for one quarter or semester (depending on the school). That means you have about 10 (quarter) to 16 (semester) weeks to learn everything there is to know. It also means that a class you dislike is over faster.
Homework and Tests
Homework was a staple in high school (and a lot of times a nice buffer to even out bad test grades). In college, there is less homework that gets turned in for a grade. You will also notice that you will be assigned a LOT more reading, so be sure you allot time for that. Often homework will be more geared toward test preparation, because tests are worth a lot in college. In some classes, your entire grade is based on the grades you get on a midterm and a final—that means you really need to study.
Yeah, college is different than high school. But just because classes are different doesn’t mean you won’t be able to get good grades. You just need to give yourself the chance to adjust to them—it’s a new learning style, but you can figure out how to do it.
August 30th, 2007
If you’re going away to college, you have probably already gotten a list of things to bring to college—like a refrigerator, a computer, and extra-long twin sheets. That list is a good place to start, but it’s amazing how important little things can be once you don’t have Mom’s stockpiled cabinets to rummage through (especially if you don’t have a car). Here’s my top 10 list of things to take to college that might not have made the school’s list.
- Bowl, Plate, Cup, and Silverware
College students tend to have late hours; campus cafeterias don’t. Having your own dishes and such on hand means you can eat cereal or ramen noodles (both staple college foods) any time, day or night.
- Quarters
These mean access to the wonders of the laundry room, soda and candy machines, and parking meters. College kids can be surprisingly reluctant to share quarters, so it’s better to bring your own.
- Comfortable Pillow, Blanket, & Mattress Pad
Maybe you think it sounds silly to bring a mattress pad to college, but remember that nice comfy mattress you have at home? That’s not what dorm beds feel like. The comfier your pillow, blanket, & mattress pad, the better your college experience. Really.
- Dry-Erase Message Board & Markers
These are a great investment (and just kind of fun)—it’s the best way to get messages when you’re gone, especially if your roommate isn’t really motivated to take messages for you.
- Fan
In warm climates, a good fan is your best friend. Though some dorms have thermostats, they are not necessarily reliable (I had a friend whose thermostat wasn’t working, and when they checked into it they found that the wires inside the wall weren’t connected to anything).
- Extension Cord & Surge Protected Power Strip
Power outlets can be set in pretty inconvenient places, so an extension cord can make a huge difference (but make sure to pay attention to the safety precautions). Also, with so many people using so much electricity, it’s better to protect your more expensive electronics with a surge protector (I lost a really nice TV to a power surge).
- Tools
Even just having a screwdriver and a hammer can make assembling desks, fixing bikes, & hanging new dorm decorations a million times easier—and you can bet a lot of people forgot these, so it’s also an easy way to meet people.
- Mini-Refrigerator
I know this is probably already on the list from your college, but it really is a life saver when you get hungry in the middle of the night (see item #1). If you can, find one with a little freezer. Also, it’s usually more cost-efficient to buy one than to rent. Microwaves & toaster ovens are pretty nice, too, if you’re allowed to have them. (Check with your roommate so you don’t bring two of these!)
- Decorations & Photos from Home
Dorm rooms can look pretty depressing at first—bare walls, bare shelves, bare beds. Even with some of your stuff in place, the bare walls can kind of get to you. Bring posters, photos, and decorations in colors you like to liven the place up and make it feel more like home. (Most colleges let you hang this stuff with painter’s tape, so bring that, too).
- Anti-Virus Software for your Computer
If you don’t already have an anti-virus program, get one. College networks mean a lot more exposure—and more file sharing goes on, too. That means a way higher risk for your computer (I got a virus the first DAY). Better to catch it early than to have your computer crash in the middle of a final paper.
August 27th, 2007
So, you’re about to start college. You’re excited. You’re scared. And you’re not really sure what you’re in for. I guess that’s part of the fun—especially if you’re living away from home for the first time.
So, what’s college really like?
It’s active. It’s social. It’s independent. Like a lot of things, it’s about balance. You have to balance between work and play, friends and studies, homesickness and excitement, family life and independence.
In a lot of ways, it is probably the biggest jump into adulthood you’ve made yet. You’d be surprised how hard it is to get yourself to eat three solid meals a day (my freshman year my roommate and I ate a whole pint of ice cream every night… Not the best idea). Oh, yeah, and do you know how to do laundry? That’s a whole adventure in itself.
It can also be one of the most exhilarating times of your life. You get the opportunity to step out on your own—mom and dad don’t get your report cards, you choose your schedule and your classes, you can stay up until all hours of the night (or at least until your roommate freaks out and tells you to get to sleep). You will meet a multitude of new people, and have opportunities to find out where your passions lie.
You will also have to study harder than you ever have before, but don’t worry—you’ll get the hang of it. It just takes some time to get used to things.
And that’s true for the entire college experience—even if you feel a little homesick or out of place at first, it doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy it later. Just relax and give yourself some time to adjust. It sounds a little cheesy, but college really is all what you make of it.
August 22nd, 2007
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